Liberals has gotten mad at something once again. This time, the bleeding hearts of the liberal elite are clutching their pearls so hard they might turn them into diamonds.
Why? A whopping 59 white South African farmers, fleeing land disputes and looking to America for a safer life after President Trump said they are welcome.
Apparently, these farmers didn’t get the memo that the progressive playbook has a strict “no Caucasians” clause when it comes to compassion.
“We thought America was all about refugees,” sobbed Jan Van Der Merwe, a 45-year-old farmer with a face redder than a tomato, “but turns out, we’re the wrong shade of oppressed!”
Faced with a frosty reception colder than a polar bear’s toenails, these farmers decided to get creative. In a move that could only be described as Cirque du Soleil meets a hardware store clearance sale, they raided the local Home Depot for buckets of brown, black, green, and grey paint. Their genius plan? Slather themselves in it to “fit in” with the diversity quota. Picture this: a group of sunburned Afrikaners sitting in a circle, solemnly smearing paint on each other’s faces and hands like they’re auditioning for a post-apocalyptic art class.
“If they won’t take us as white refugees, we’ll be painted refugees!” declared Pieter Botha, 52, as he dabbed brown paint on his cheeks in what he called a “totally not offensive” tribal design. Paintbrushes clashed, paint splattered, and the scene looked like Jackson Pollock had a midlife crisis at a paintball arena.
The liberals, predictably, lost their collective minds faster than you can say “intersectionality.”
“This is peak cultural appropriation!” screeched @WokeWizard69 on X, their bio proudly proclaiming them a “decolonized vegan poet.” “They’re literally painting over their privilege! I need a safe space and a kombucha, stat!” Within hours, a protest erupted outside a Starbucks with a bonfire lit on fire with multiple stores as the tinder needed. Activists waving signs like “Paint Can’t Hide Your Whiteness” and “Smear Your Tears, Not Your Face!”
We will keep you updated on further information as we get it.
