In a bold move that’s got everyone talking, the Republican congresswoman has proudly announced she’s the first to enroll her own offspring in the underground workforce, kicking off what she calls a revolutionary push for unrestricted pint-sized mining operations.

With a straight face and a hard hat in hand, she explained how this initiative will build character faster than any video game, turning tots into tough little troopers who can haul coal before they can spell it.

Critics are scratching their heads, wondering if this is the new family outing, complete with lunchboxes filled with soot sandwiches and bedtime stories about black lung adventures.

The congresswoman led a rally outside the Capitol, waving a tiny pickaxe and chanting slogans about how free child labor in the mines is the ultimate freedom from those pesky school desks. She argued that nothing says American dream like descending into dark shafts at dawn, insisting it’s far better than wasting time on recess when there’s ore to be extracted. Supporters cheered as she shared heartwarming anecdotes of her kid’s first shift, where the little one reportedly unearthed a nugget and declared it “better than recess,” though sources say the tyke might have just been echoing mom’s script.

As the movement gains steam, the congresswoman vows to expand the program nationwide, promising incentives like free canaries for every family that signs up. Detractors mutter about outdated ideas resurfacing like bad sequels, but she brushes it off, claiming it’s all about teaching self-reliance in the most literal depths.

If this catches on, playgrounds might soon echo with the clink of tiny tools, proving once again that some traditions are best left buried, unless they’re profitable.