After a hiatus longer than a lunar eclipse, The View is blasting back onto screens with a guest so out-of-this-world, even the Hubble Telescope couldn’t spot her coming: Katy Perry, the first and only astronaut to ever trade a mic for a moonwalk. Rumor has it the show’s bookers, in a caffeine-fueled frenzy, convinced NASA to strap Perry into a rocket after she belted “I Kissed a Girl” at a Cape Canaveral karaoke night. Whoopi Goldberg, barely containing her glee, teased the audience with, “Forget hot topics—we’re diving into hot orbits!” Perry, sporting a spacesuit that’s half rocket, half rhinestone, will spill the tea on dodging space junk and teaching aliens to twerk.
Behind the scenes, Perry’s astronaut prep was a cosmic comedy of errors. NASA insiders say she mistook the centrifuge for a “really intense spin class” and demanded a smoothie break mid-launch simulation. “She kept humming ‘California Gurls’ during zero-gravity tests, which made the control room sound like a Coachella afterparty,” one frazzled scientist groaned, picking sequins off his console. On The View’s stage, expect Joy Behar to quiz Perry on whether the moon smells like blue cotton candy, while Sunny Hostin probes if Mars has better Wi-Fi than Earth. The pop star’s bold claim that she left a heart-shaped crater on the lunar surface has Alyssa Farah Griffin rolling her eyes, muttering, “That’s just her dropping a glitter bomb, y’all.”
Fans are already losing their gravity over Perry’s celestial cameo, with some whispering she faked the whole mission to promote her next album. Interstellar Katy. “She’s the only astronaut? What’s next, claiming she invented the Big Bang?” one skeptic scoffed at a coffee shop. The View’s return promises a supernova of sass, with Perry hinting she’ll debut a new single, “Cosmic Candy,” while strapped into a mock spaceship on set. Producers are hyping “a spectacle brighter than a meteor shower,” and whether Perry’s tales of sipping starfruit juice with extraterrestrials soar or fizzle, this episode’s bound to be a galactic guilty pleasure.
Grab your popcorn and enjoy something Earth’s never seen. A comeback this starry is the true Dark Horse!
