In a plot twist nobody saw coming, the white-coated warlord of epidemiology, Anthony Fauci, has emerged from his self-imposed exile in a lab coat brighter than a supernova. At a press conference held in what appeared to be a repurposed yoga studio, Fauci declared he’s “ready for round two” of what he’s calling his “successful vaccine extravaganza.” Flanked by a life-sized cardboard cutout of a syringe, he waxed poetic about the first go-round, claiming it was “like Woodstock, but with less mud and more immunity.” Sources say Fauci spent the last year perfecting a new dance move called “The Booster Boogie” to celebrate the return of his viral (pun intended) vaccine campaign.

Insiders report that Fauci’s reappearance is less about science and more about his burning desire to reclaim the spotlight from TikTok influencers peddling turmeric shots as “natural immunity boosters.” With a twinkle in his eye and a PowerPoint presentation titled “Jabs for Joy.” Fauci outlined his vision for a vaccine so successful that says, “Save your grandma again, for real, this time.”

Critics, however, were quick to point out that his last “success” had side effects, including an inexplicable urge to binge-watch medical dramas and a sudden proficiency in folding fitted bedsheets. Undeterred, Fauci promised this round would include a complimentary sticker that says, “I Got Vaxxed and All I Got Was This Lousy Myocarditis.”

The public’s reaction has been a mixed bag of hypochondriac cheers and conspiracy theorist groans, with some already lining up for what they’re calling “Fauci’s Revenge Shot.” Local man Jerry, who claims to have gotten six boosters and wears a facemask, alone at home, “just to be safe.”

He later tells us how he is thrilled that Fauci is back. Mostly because he needs someone to blame for his newfound hobby of collecting surgical masks. Meanwhile, Fauci’s team is reportedly working on a marketing campaign featuring a jingle that rhymes “vaccine” with “serene,” which early focus groups described as “catchy but haunting.”

As the world braces for another dose of Fauci’s fervor, one thing’s clear: whether you’re pro-jab or anti-prick, this sequel’s bound to inject some chaos into the collective bloodstream.