From recent polls, we all know that the democratic party is at a 21% favorability rate. They have been scouring far and wide, low and high, to find a way to hip again. So, the leaders of the party have been brainstorming how to increase their popularity, which led us to their Mike Tyson out in the field. Joe Biden, the power hitter.

Weighing in at a hefty 90 pounds, soaking wet, with a workout routine to rival all professional fighters. While he trains one day a year, he spends a whopping 364 days out of the year resting his body and cryogenically keeping himself in peak shape. He goes under the sun sometimes to soak up all the powers of the sun to increase his muscle gain while he sleeps to keep his gains intact!

The former president is a machine, I tell you! Now that they rolled Biden out of the basement, I believe that we have a solid match in future races again.

Especially when Biden does his warcry of “Social securitkndjdkjegn…. You know what I mean.”