Establishment Elephant Switches Sides Mid-Parade For Better Hay.
In a political spectacle that’s left spectators gobsmacked, a prominent establishment elephant has trumpeted its defection mid-parade, lumbering from one side of the aisle to the other in pursuit of…
Republican Congress Member Pioneers New Daycare Strategy: Children In Coal Mines
In a bold move that’s got everyone talking, the Republican congresswoman has proudly announced she’s the first to enroll her own offspring in the underground workforce, kicking off what she…
Government To Shred Papers Labeled “Confidential” To Prevent Confidential Information From Leaking
In a move that’s sure to revolutionize data security, officials have announced a groundbreaking plan to tackle the persistent problem of sensitive information slipping out. Picture this: stacks of documents,…
GOP Fury: Congresswoman Pushes Toddler’s ‘Equity’ Run for Congress.
In a stunning display of forward-thinking politics, a prominent congresswoman has unveiled her latest initiative: propelling her own toddler into the race for a congressional seat, all under the banner…
Briefing Room Changes: Less Seats, Less Comfort, More Work Done.
In a surprising move that’s got everyone in the White House press corps adjusting their postures, the presidential briefing room has undergone a radical redesign aimed at streamlining operations. Gone…
New Presidential Candidate For 2028: President Donita Trumpita To Put Her Name In To Vote For.
From the shadows comes a certain real estate mogul, Donita Trumpita. She has catapulted into the 2028 presidential race with a purple wig that screams, “I’m here to ask for…
Kamala Harris’s New Book, 107 Vodkas On The Wall: Talks About All The Alcohol In Her House.
In a bold move that’s left political pundits choking on their kale smoothies, Vice President Kamala Harris has dropped a literary bombshell titled 107 Vodkas On The Wall, a memoir…
ICE Templars To Roll Out: Immigration Officers To Start Wearing Templar Armor To Defend Against Rocks.
In a bold move straight out of a medieval fever dream, Immigration and Customs Enforcement has announced its latest initiative: the ICE Templars program. Starting next month, agents will reportedly…
Gavin Newsome To Fix Palisades By…Building His Own Helipad?
In a bold move that’s sure to revolutionize urban planning, California Governor Gavin Newsom unveiled his master plan to revitalize the struggling Pacific Palisades neighborhoody. How? Get this, constructing a…
District Court Judge to Israel and Iran: No Peace for You, Because Trump
In a shocking turn of events, a district court judge has single-handedly thwarted a potential ceasefire between Israel and Iran. The reason? Former President Donald Trump suggested it. Judge Cory…
